Mar 13
Keep The Dream Vision

Transforming Hearts: Julia’s Journey to Healing and Redemption

Today I was talking to Zabe, KTD196 co-founder and program manager, and we were chatting about individuals we had seen wonderful changes in. So I thought I would share Julia’s story with you. It’s a bit long, those who have been with us for a while have met her previously over the years.

Julia came to this country from Mozambique with her husband and 2kids over 20yrs ago. 10yrs ago her husband died of AIDS and she found out she and her second youngest daughter also had HIV at the age of 2. Fortunately for Julia she responded positively to the Anti Retro virals. Sadly, her second youngest daughter Lulama did not.

Lulama was a part of scouts, we were able to supply extra nutrients and food parcels to try and build her immune system, but it was too late. Lulama was diagnosed with extra pulmonary tuberculosis, she had it in her lymph glands throughout her body. Lulama passed away when she was 12yrs but she only looked like she yrs old.

Lulama was desperately loved by Julia, to the exclusion of her youngest child, she didn’t care what happened to Jane, she would not care for her, feed her properly, buy clothing for her, Jane wore all of her dead sister’s clothes. Personally, I suspect it was fear of loving another child to depth that she loved Lulama and then losing her. Julia could not love this child. Just imagine, that you are so scared to love your child that you actually reject her.  Her heart could not bear another loss, so Jane was neglected.

Through our work with SHG, Julia became a part of the SHG group to address the very real poverty affecting her and her family. Jane came to cubs and scouts, and learnt about children’s rights and responsibilities and chose to love her mum regardless. Zabe was saying Jane was so desperate to have a mum, that she would call Zabe mum because her own mother didn’t ever respond, Julia was so broken and this in turn threatened to break Jane.

Through cubs and scout Jane grew to realise that parents are also not perfect and that she was determined to win her mother’s love. She would live according to the scout law, she would honour her parent, and love her mother regardless, she found acceptance within the children’s program, her confidence and sense of self grew regardless.

Late last year Julia attended our Journey of Life training where she learnt about how the past can affect our present and she realised how she was treating Jane was so wrong on so many levels. Overnight she started buying clothes for Jane, she started talking to Jane, she was starting to pay attention to Jane. However, the love was slow in coming, this was a process but also Jane needed to be open to the change.

Last week Jane started menstruating but the relationship was so damaged, Jane told her neighbours not her mother about this because she was just too unsure. This devastated Julia, she didn’t blame Jane but it made her stop and think about how her past action had damaged the relationship and she now wants to build her mother-daughter relationship that is open to all discussions and express her love towards her daughter.

This change came about through KTD196 involvement in the family, we were determined to bring them both closer and by implementing training in the SHG groups regarding communication with children, listening skills with children, how to show (demonstratively which is not cultural) that you love your child, the doors were opening. Not just for Julia and Jane but for all the parents to improve their relationships with their children.

Through the children’s program we have been able to build up Jane so that she realises it not her that is being rejected but that her mum has problems and needs heart healing. It’s a tough call, but we are seeing the changes every week as we watch Julia and Jan interact and find each other after 12yrs of hurt. Both are doing very well.

These sorts of changes we see every day. It is changes that large Institutional donors are not interested in but I want you to understand, your support has gone towards restoring this relationship, through supporting the children’s program and SHG program, we are bringing deep healing to families. Statistically, with this sort of upbringing Julia was at risk of teenage pregnancy, dropping out of school, drugs us, HIV, criminal activities in order to survive. But because of you, that is just not going to happen.

I hope you feel good about the support you are giving; it is life changing.

God bless you